Monday, May 08, 2006

Am Back ......

To all the THOUSANDS of my fans, I deeply regret the pain and suffering caused to you by my lack of blogging... (please... no other permutations and combinations of the scentence invited... but still if you feel the urge to comment on it, feel free to write it down and snail mail it to me). Its been a crazy few days...... I have just been initiaited in the art of 'taking out clients for Lunch/ Dinner and billing it to the company'. Its a tough art to master, but with a quick learner like me its just a matter of one time example and immediate mastery.

So yesterday, as a part of my duty of course, I toolk a few clients out to dinner at the Burj... (for all u innocents, its the only 7 star luxury hotel in the world........ ha!!! I spy with my eyelovely shades of green ). Since the client wanted the Arabian Experiance, I took them(magnanimously) to the speciality restaurant.

Bigggggg mistake!!!!!

I swear its soooo difficult to eat at such a place.

First of all, I am certain that they dont trust you(or rather me.... since I am the one in the 7* luxury hotel) with anything in the Restaurant.

We reached the table assigned to us and whoom.... 5 blue clad terrorists jumped out of nowhere and wresteled us into the chairs...... I am not exaggerating(ahem!) they pulled back the chairs and pushed it on the back of my knees.... thump!, they they took white pieces of cloth... (I was sure it was to gag us..) and spread it on our laps.... felt real weird.

(*Subtle self glorification* But am sure that anyone who goes to the 7* luxury hotel has got to be prepared for such stuff.)

I just managed to control my nerves, when the sardar of the terrorists...(no beard but.... please dont bomb us here) thrust gold woven menus on our face..... soooo taste fully printed in ARABIC. Luckily, after 4 years in Dubai, I had picked up the language(quick learner remember) and so gravely tolf the sardar, "Salaam aliyekum"..... "shoo"(what) pointing to a particularly heavily priced dish. I could see that the clients and the sardar were extremely impressed by my eloquence and am certain that all the sniggers were about some private joke that I was not privvy to.
The volley in arabic that the sardar let loose would have felled a weaker man, but nein moi (wow... more languages)... I stared into his eyes and told him "shukran" (thank you). Then asked him, in english, to bring mixed grills and seafood platters.....
But the real tension between me and the sardar began, when I wanted beer and he was forcing some old over-ripe grape juice on us. I think his right eyebrow might have cut a swath on the ceiling when i told him.."beer.......bbbeeeerrrr....me..beer"

But the weirdest thing for me is the way they stare at you..... as we were the only ppl in the restaurant at the time, we had the undivided attention of around 1500 minions and a few sardars..... its a frightening experiance, when u know that if u cut the meat wrong, there might be retributions.... So i decided to be smart and concentrated on the Beer and the canapes(another peril of going to a 7* luxury hotel) and only the tikkas of the platter... no cutting ...just forking.

But the biggest rush was when the sarder gave us a ransom note well into the 4 figures and I....I swiped the card for it......... yayyyyyyyyyyyyy

15 Comments:

Anonymous confused said...

Ah!

The wonders of a company account!

5:39 AM  
Blogger Maya Cassis said...

hee hee that was an awesomely funny account.Though having being brought up there,I never had the luck to visit the Burj Al Arab.Somehow the place frightened me,even at a distance;)
I have also heard of the unruly colours splashed around the whole place.
And yes,the glory of swiping a company card...hahahhahahah...great man!
Welcome back:)

6:46 AM  
Anonymous maya said...

the burj looks soo formidable from outside rahul! wow man! it would have taken an awful lot of courage to do all that!!!
hats off to u man! u can say... u ate at the Burj!
and i missed u loaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaads!

9:56 AM  
Blogger je suis la femme said...

*dies laughing*

NEIN MOI! NEIN MOI!

I'm sorry. Out of the whole post, that's what jumped out at me. Yeah, I know I'm weird.

Company account? How I hate you people who are privy to such access. :)

8:31 AM  
Blogger Sue said...

Hey Pep! That thing with the chairs? They do it to us women everywhere, not only the 7stars! Mostly, the person/terrorist doing it is not very gentle so they usually bump me so hard at the backs of my knees that I fall back whether I wanted to sit then or not...

10:44 AM  
Blogger indianpeppone said...

@confused: U bet.... Now for a company gym membership...otherwise, i can double for Adnan Sami in a bit :))

@Maya Cassis: There are contrasts galore in the colour co ordinating dept... but the lobby with the aquarium is breath taking..

@Maya : Its even more formidable inside... but Whos the man????
Missed u too... see, didnt even blog :))

j s l f : After all, the union will need a common language too... mayb this will be the beginning :P
... I love it......the privy part :-)

sue : I hope the 'us women' doesnt denote me and u :P ... but now i realize how tough it must b to b a woman ...

5:41 PM  
Blogger ichatteralot said...

I have seen some awesome pictures of it - does the food taste like food or is it made of gold too?

8:24 AM  
Blogger that girl in pink said...

the ONLY 7 star in the world? i beg your pardon!! it might be the most opulent, garish and famous phallus shaped hotel in the world, but it's not the only one...

and sue's right...we ladies are used to 7 star treament everywhere, even at sreeraj juice and lassi bar. i'm sure we'd be most at home at that shrine of wealth, alas there is no company account is there to pick up the ransom note.:(

2:32 PM  
Blogger Seema said...

The Burj...that awesome creation seen that one in pictures only...swiping a company credit card to pay up is a privilege, a feather in the cap..lucky u !!!

2:43 PM  
Blogger Nautilus said...

where art thou? lost your way in the corridors of al Burj?

11:35 PM  
Blogger Seema said...

hi...thanx for your flying visit to the clouds :)
where'zzz u lost...which one of these ...AHOLICS is keepin u away from ya blog ...Workaholic, Chocoholic, Beeraholic, Dancaholic, Musicaholic, Cinemaholic, Bookaholic,............. LIFEAHOLIC ...heheeeee

10:00 AM  
Blogger Sonia said...

ooh! can fellow bloggers be counted as "clients"? ;o)

10:14 PM  
Anonymous maya said...

rahul! get back to blogging!
plsssssssssssssssssss

1:57 PM  
Blogger Maya Cassis said...

hmmm just a visiting...i see you're still on that break

4:31 PM  
Anonymous anjaly said...

wonderful, absolutely delightful made me smile. guess what I think I wanna meet you. you are defnitely interesting!!

5:38 PM  

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