Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Kishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........

No....... I am not talking abt a sequel to Koi Mil Gaya..........and no super heroes here.......but I am gonna try and do a Bill Bryson here.
A lovely tropical Island..........sunbathed pristene beaches...........lovely blue waters..........idyllic lifestyle.........very low population..................no entry Visa required
Fully covered when u venture out to the beach.................................no 'indecent' attire when swimming in the sea..........no english television channels............ and the wost of alllllllll, the biggest crime, NO BEER(or any alcohol for that matter)
WELCOME TO KISH ISLAND!!!!!!!!! where the height of revelry is talking abt booze and sex.........where the women exit the aircraft in jeans and tees and by the time they reach the immigration counter, look like one of the rejects from Ramses Tomb(honest to god....they are all shepearded into a room and trussed up in burkhas and scarves).........where the only thing that the TV plays are updated visa arrivals............ Ideal holiday spot anyone??????????
The majority of the arrivals into this dingy airport are poor souls like me from the UAE who have to change their visa as their visit visa ran out and need a place to hide out till the new visa is issued and the rest are poor souls who have to change their visa and need a place to hide out till the new visa is issued.........This must be the smallest Island in the world with an airline of its own...Kish Airlines. I am writing this in a haze as I am still suffering from jet lag and the 5* comforts of the flight.
Have u ever seen as autorikshaw with wings???????if u havent try Khish Airlines......its an experience to be missed if ever possible. When all my fellow passengers made a beeline for the aircraft, I gave my superior smile and pitied their foolish hurry as I had insisted at the check in counter for seat 2A(right in front) and GOT IT. And when I swaggered in, I was shocked to see a filipino girl perched in my seat and talking animatedly to her companian.......I know my rights ...... i am educated and have an MBA ...and so in my most svauve manner I brushed back my hair and told her......."errrr....excuuuse me.....errrrrrr...hmmmmm...ahemmm""pahano kayakenjkauakkjakka" she shot back ......... ohohhhhh that blast would have laid any lesser mortal low....but v trikkadeeri's are made of sterner stuff(lots of curd rice in the past), I went upto the moving face which i correctly assumed to be an air hostess(keen observation u see) and showed her my boarding pass.......... everything will b cleared up now.......i will show that girl whos the boss. "Seeet"-airhostess........"HUH"-mba(on her lap??????big inner smile........"anywhere seeeeeeet"-airhostess......."huh???????"-mba(its the classic use of one single word giving different meanings by the subtle changes in the pronounciation......am not a pg for nothing)Unfortunately the subtility was lost on the girl and she turned away leaving me half way thru my next "hhhhhhhuhh!!!!"(wanted to do the exclamation pronounciation.....but ...) so i trudged to the end of the flight oblivious to the smirks and the sniggers proud of the fact tht I stood up for my self,a laa 'rang de basanti' the movie.......or did i?????? anyway....... i had hardly seated myself when the conductor closed the door and v were off........it really felt like one of those KSRTC buses back home. I was putting on my seatbelt and suddenly one guy threw the inflight meal at me......i swear he did.......and when i ravenously opened it up,behold...3 sweetmeal biscuts, a pack of peanuts and one pineapple drink!!!!!! I was contemplating on Karma and how this is the ideal punishment for leaving my last job just because i am getting more money and the started to open the peanuts when I hear a sinister voice saying "finis???" and the box was snatched away and the seatbelt sign came on and we landed.
The sign said,"welcome to Kish, the visa free island" and in small print under it "visa valid for 14 days"
So I hitched up my jeans and got into the immigration line for my 'Gandhijayanthi holiday'......ie no booze holiday.

1 Comments:

Anonymous maya said...

me been sort of lucky, never went thru this ordeal:-)

2:59 PM  

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